After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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