I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
As shirtless as possible
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
