He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
