There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
