sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this beer tastes like vomit already
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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