What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
