He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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