hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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