My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
