I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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