oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Moan for me like Helen Keller
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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