I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
