I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
