I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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