i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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