Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize