He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
