Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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