butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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