i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just want to make out with him forever
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
