I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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