It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
