My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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