walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
