I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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