Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
