I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
