so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
