ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
