the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
