dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
