That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize