Duck Duck Cougar?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need a hoe opinion
go on
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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