May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
