Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
