"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
