Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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