To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
