On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
