what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
