everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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