um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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