There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
