Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
