so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
