i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Houston, we have a squirter
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
