did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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