We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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