i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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