At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize