just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize