I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We left the knife in your bed.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
