When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
only if we run a train.
done.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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