porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
