I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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