Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
