All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
