he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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